#whoeverimarrywill

On Sunday, July 10, 2011, as I greeting my fellow Tweeters on Twitter, as I do every morning, I noticed the trending topic #whoeverimarry.  

(For those of you who are not familiar with Twitter and its contents, hashtags (#) are used to group discussions regarding a single topic.) 

In response, to the aforementioned topic, I tweeted the following:   

#whoeverimarry can't be trippin' about who I'm kissing on stage. Trust me. The show on stage won't begin to compare to the one at home. OK??

 

My Twitter homie and fellow entertainment professional, Courtney Jackson (@TheSouthrnGent) commented on my tweet and the following conversation was held.

(Keep in mind that Twitter operates on "mentions". When you see @RhyanMichele, that's Courtney speaking to me; when you see @TheSouthrnGent, that's me speaking to Courtney. Because of the character limit on Twitter, much is abbreviated.) 

THE CONVO...

@RhyanMichele I've always wondered how people feel when they see their spouse share a passionate kiss or sex scene on screen....

@TheSouthrnGent Having been in more than one relationship during my career, I've noticed that industry cohorts better "get it." Non-industry sig. others (in my case) felt very and completely uncomfortable. I dated a guy who too was an actor, said he was ok w it, but would tense up EVERY TIME!! He tried to sike himself out. It's all about knowing/trusting your sig. other and being comfortable knowing it's just a character, no matter what role. Aaaaaaaand, you didnt ask me all that. lol As you were. Lol

@RhyanMichele So how do u bring that up in a convo? And how does it make YOU feel knowing that this will be an issue for most guys?

@TheSouthrnGent Right off the bat, we know ea others professions. I'm the type of person that blatantly asks. Thats a question you can sneak in during a convo about a project you're working on. Or talk about a kissing role you had before and ask her thoughts. How does it make me feel?? It's a risk I have to take. Dont get me wrong. We all feel a certain way just thinking abt our sig. other kissing someone (acting or not). BUT that's where trust/understanding come in. Since it's a HUGE issue for most guys, I chose to roll w the punches. What I do now as a single actress, I dont see myself changing as a married actress. I'm already not gonna strip on stage (standard I've already set for myself, and my hubby may not going for it either). When it all boils down to it, it's apart of your "what I want" package, as w those who aren't actors. Did I ans ur question?

@RhyanMichele Yes u answered it... I understand where ur coming from.. If I have a late night studio session with a female vocalist in another state, thats something my s/o will have to deal.. My field, as well as yours, requires A LOT of time, so thats something else she'll have to get used to

@TheSouthrnGent YUP!!! Unless you get to the point where it's jeopardizing your relationship and you choose her over your career. Which can be tricky. We women need to know you'll choose us over your career. For me, it doesnt mean you have to choose. Just means I mean more to you than your career. If your career crashes, you wont lose your mind and throw me away but allow me to make up for what was lost. Goes back to the Alicia Keys song..."if i ain't go you" U what? U the woman or U the career?? Also for me, I'm a supporter. For my man, if he likes it, I FREAKIN' LOVE IT!!! And if i know im more important than that thing, Im gonna do whatever I can to HELP him get it. #1 fan, loudest cheerleader...ALL THAT!! But why would I support sumthin that I know takes precedence over me?? Call it silly but it could evolve into a 'wham bam thank you maam'! Now i'm stuck...

@RhyanMichele I feel u... Must be why people in the industry date in that circle... Makes sense that the biggest female artist (Beyonce) & the biggest male artist (Jay) would get married... They dont only love each other... They UNDERSTAND each other as well.

@TheSouthrnGent EXACTLY!!! And there are so many other perks that come with it too... PROMOS AND PUBLICITY!! Indirectly, they are a team/business!!

@RhyanMichele Yep... Cant ask for much more from your life-long partner...

THE END

Since this conversation was had, I've had second thoughts about some of these things... 

I would like to hear YOUR thoughts. Comment on this post!! 

1. What are your views on marriage and career? 
2. Should one meet your standards as they are set as a single professional?
3. Are you willing to change your way of business after marriage? 
4. What are your expectations in terms of a significant other's career?

**Feel free to post your questions for me as well. I'll collectively answer them and share my second thoughts in another post. :P